The Known Advices

 “Anything that can stop this. I quit.”

“JEE can’t be that hard. After all, I remember, you had chosen it quite willingly.”

“there are a lot many things in life that one properly knows only after one has chosen them.”

“You mean the government?”

“Oh – off with your government jokes. It seems that all you do is criticize the government and nothing else.”

“Well, there isn’t anything else to defame, what would I do?”

“Listen to people. Anyway, I am willing to leave the entire world if it gets me out of this.”

“Way to go. How hard is it? I mean JEE.”

“See – if you have ever heard of the term – I don’t know the exact word – but it implies extreme effort that awaits null results – that could be a reflection of what JEE is.

You strain your eye to a degree where even sight becomes a challenge, and then you expend those pitiful eyes to see that you are at the bottom of the class in every test. Basically, it trains you to except the worst of life.”

“But I might ask – if every one faces these issues, how come people come first, second, or even average?”

“You see – it’s only you. If you are a little bit more meagre than the rest, then you fall. Raise your intelligence to a slightly higher value, and you become average. And if God permits your request to barter your brain with Newton’s, then you might get a good rank, but that depends a lot on how you can copy.”

“Do you?”

“No… I am one of those ethical pawns who get the least out of life.”

“Might I suggest a solution to your uneventful life?”

“If you could, pray do… but I highly doubt anything you say will be of importance.”

“Withdraw from self-indulgence.”

“What?”

“You are floating over yourself as if it were God when one is desperate, or a relative bearing strides. And because your circumstance is no far from pity, I suggest you do not think about yourself.”

“And if I do, I’ll call you.”

It sighed. I had a ridiculously odd feeling that this wasn’t how it should behave.

“I am sorry I proved to be a disappointment to you, I couldn’t do more, I couldn’t do less, my eyes are burning in their sockets and all I am wondering is whether I can make a dime to survive.”

“Relax. Health and success aren’t related.”

It sighed again. I might start worrying whether it will leave me. But then, these things never do.

“Tell me. My main concern is – they exhaust all their fuel in work – I exhaust all mine in distress, it pains me to thrive, yet only pain yields progress.”

“Pain is prejudiced – it strikes only those whom it wants to enhance – pain is the benefactor, and pleasure is the borrower – pain hails motion, and leisure decelerates the path. The fact that you are hurting is an instance of how pain hails potential.”

“You needn’t explain it in the way I asked. But then, you are me.”

“Of course. All my life, I have wondered, whether all you can do is ask me questions and then I realize, all I am capable of, is answering them. There is a balance between us. You and me. And there has to be a balance between you, and your studies. One gives something and one takes another. You throw in some strain, and it imparts knowledge.”

“Then how come it is one-way around?”

“One way is a path when it is not being walked upon as it wishes to. But when you talk about JEE, I doubt whether the science of normal roads applies here.

JEE is meant to be as further away from accomplishment as possible. The fact that you have the guts to attempt it proves courage. Well, the best thing is to not think about what you did, and think about what you will do.”

“I am certain I can make something of this, yet I don’t know what. It could be an apple pie, for God’s sake!”

It didn’t sigh this time. It stared at me, as if one hints at ending an argument. I doubted whether this was the last time it would talk to me. But then, it was always there.

I drifted away from the mirror. It wasn’t of any good. All it’s given me is advices that I already know.

- Krisha Shastri