Faux Pas of Online Schools

Part-1

For the past many days, I’ve been suffering from pure terror. Terror from what, you may ask? Well, you see, there has been a peculiar parade of teachers during online classes which has been tormenting me to death.

Today, I fell asleep during a class (I won’t mention which, though). This was supposed to calm me down. And yes, it did.

You see, my online classes don’t start from 10, or 9, rather, we are expected to get up at 7 and emerge fully ready wearing the school uniform by 7:45. This is quite close to hell, I know. However, it is worse than that.

My day begins with loud groaning. I take about 10 mins to slither out of my bed to munch a very fine brush. By that time, my face becomes chalk white due to the very decent behaviour of my beloved toothpaste.

After 5 mins, the person who lives above me (I live in an apartment) wakes up from his “slumber”. I could hear his footsteps crawling through the floor, and smashing a fine piece of furniture. He has a hobby of something he regards to be – construction and furniture-sorting. We hear moving chairs and tables everyday from the ‘sky’.

Well, that is not the worst part, because another thing awaits me after – school.

 

This time, I shall talk about a peculiar teacher. Let’s call her Mrs. See. This, of course, isn’t her real name. I call her Mrs. See because she practically peeks through my computer screen to barge out a crumbling hand to grab my neck and shove it into her presentation.

Her class (I won’t mention that, again) starts at 8 am on a day. We (students) hesitantly open our laptop (or mobile) screens and as though to be bugged again and again about joining before 8, join the meeting at sharp 7:59.

Well, she can’t say anything about that.

Then, after a long period of about 20 seconds of silence, she roars triumphantly, a student’s name. Now, there’s a peculiar way to this teacher, that she grabs one student in particular. Well, the key to evade her grasp is, you join the meeting after that student does. If not, you get the position.

“Sereneeeeeee” “Sereneeeeee” She proclaims her existence. Sometimes, I feel, she does that because of a feeling of inequality – that she’s supposed to wake and speak, and her own students can sleep during class. This is rather a controversy among the elites of the school, for students say they study five, or rather, six subjects and teachers teach only one.

“Yes ma’am”, a silent, deep, bass sound echoes through the network.

(Now, remember, I’ve got some pretty excited students in my class as well, which I’ll talk about later.)

“Serene!”

“Yes ma’am……” The sound recurs.

“Have you revised the lesson?”

“Yes ma’am…”

A plop sound is followed by a question on the screen. Serene is unable to answer it.

“Serene, do you know the question???”

“No ma’am.”

“This means you have not revised the lesson.” Mrs. See hangs on to your hand and begs you to answer a correct question in a way that doesn’t seem like begging.

“Ma’am, I had tests to give yesterday.”

“This means my class is not important?”

“Ma’am.” At this Serene allows herself to snore back. Mrs. See concludes her failure to enrage her student to alertness.

 

Now, there’s another student, who rather sleeps during the class. No no, I’m not talking about me. I don’t do it regularly, of course. Let’s call him Brad.

This begins with a “Braaaaad” echo from the speaker.

He doesn’t reply.

“Braaaaaad”

No response.

“BRAAAAAAADDDDD”

“Yes ma’am” a sleepy voice is followed by sneezing and wiping of the nose.

“Brad, why didn’t you answer me when I asked you so many times?”

“Ma’am… I was… I was…” he drifts back to his dream of having a chat with a pretty girl.

“BRAAAAAAADDD!! If you don’t answer, I will mark you absent. You know that attendance during class has marks.”

We hear Brad’s mom shouting at him. “Brad! Wake up, you sloth!” “Mom, mom” And a sudden thwack erupts with the sloth’s “Yes ma’am”, enriched with rage.

Well, there’s one rule to this – if you don’t answer immediately, your case is filed.

Part-2

As I promised, this time, I’ll talk about those students who are rather too excited to wake up at the beginning of dawn and be a perfect student to their teacher. I’m not mocking them, however, describing their pains and pleasures.

Well, you see, the day of course begins with some snoring or rather, slumbering amongst the students. However, the teacher is not the one to start the meeting. Class meetings are started exactly half an hour before the exact time – by you-know-whoes.

Lets name 2 students Trishna and Tristan. They are what we call ‘perfect pets’. Again, I’m not mocking them, and nor surely making any sort of offense. I would actually like to make a disclaimer.

THE BELOW SENTENCES ARE NOT IN ANY WAY RELATING TO ANY PERSON. ANY KIND OF IDENTIFICATION IS PURELY A COINCIDENCE.

Fine?

Yes.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, of course. Pets. I was one of them exactly before two years, but then, I realized one thing. Why am I being so obedient to teachers, when they themselves are feeling a sense of oddness in it? I am right. During those times, students who were too obedient were classified as over-obedient-pets by the teachers themselves.

Hence, I morphed into someone more rebellious.

Now, when the teachers are preferring the obedient types, I can’t change.

Such a fortunate luck in school! Heh!

So again, where was I??? This is a recurring habit of mine. I doze off to some thought, and then, when time pushes me to come back, the doors are closed.

Please remind me where I was.

Oh yes.

I’ve told you how my “wonderful” day begins. The moment I wake up, either Trishna or Tristan have started the meeting. My parents murmur something like, “Such obedient students, and look at this.”

However, this doesn’t change me. I’m one of those people whom you can call extremely stubborn. I study what I like, which might be poetry, or classics, or astrophysics but definitely not a textbook.

After the Cold War, unlike USA and Russia, I have to mend ties with my parents, for they have a stronger nuclear base than mine.

My parents make a very harsh treaty. Trust me. But don’t do that here, because my parents are slightly liberal as well.

Hmm.. Tristan has started the meeting today. What a delight! To the teacher, I mean. Students start dropping in class one by one – the dedicated ones first, offhanded ones (like me) next, and network-issues at last.

I resume class. It’s Mrs. See’s. I hope she doesn’t pick me.

“Tristaaaaannn” Ah! Someone who can make her happy.

‘Yes ma’am!” An eruption occurs in the next moment. It is as fast as a rocket, racing from the stars and the moon and the planets to reach dearest Mrs. See’s feet.

Now, you may have heard such students. Yes ma’am! Yes ma’am! Right? The twist here, is, the entire branch is twisted. Just kidding.

You might have some teens in class who have a speaker problem. Yeah, you do. So, basically, this is what happens today.

After Tristan proclaims his allegiance to his boss, another student unmutes himself to let the speaker problem soar. This problem is simple – anything that comes out of the speaker goes in, which, in short, means, the sound echoes back.

As soon as Tristan speaks, Yes ma’am! Yes ma’am! Yes ma’am! Sounds come, at different decibels in the descending order. I grin, worshipping the miscreant.

Krisha Shastri

Continued after some days