Pigeons

 They are small. They are grey. They are strong. They are omnipresent. They are birds. And, they are pigeons.

We can associate a ton of attributes to pigeons. Well, the most common being, not-aware-of-the-present-circumstances. Second-most important one – they’re present everywhere, whether it’s your window or your bathroom.

Today, as I was checking out the magnificent view from my room, I looked down, and caught a glimpse of a very confused-looking pigeon staring right at me.

“What?” I motioned to the bird.

“Ghoo?” He replied.

“Ah, there’s no hope here.” I muttered.

The little creature continued its work of glancing at the nearby pigeons, most probably girl-pigeons. I shut the window.

See, this is the trouble you have to go through if you are tolerant to birds.

Yesterday, one pigeon entered my room, when I was reading Dracula. I noticed it, but chose to ignore the undisciplined bird. The overconfidence of that bird – it thought it had fooled me. It sensibly smirked off a ‘Ghoo’ and let out a bird burp, which means another passive ‘Ghoo’.

No hope here either.

Then, that creature moved on to climb on top of my teddy bear. I could not tolerate that. I raised an eyebrow and looked straight into the bird’s eyes.

“Ghoo?” That’s all I got.

“Could you please get out of my room?”

“Please, I need a glass of water.” He replied.

Just checking if you were paying attention. That thing just showed its indifference to a human. Oh really? I lost my mind at the moment.

I raised my voice, “Could you please get out!!!!” And he did. But after a moment, tiptoed into my room nonchalantly, this time with his wife. As if, I have an apartment to rent for FREE.

Then, the master of the masters – the kite soared into my bedroom. Why are they presuming this as a playground? But, after noticing pieces of grass and stuff laying here and there, even the sanest of the humans could say this was a valley.

I shouted, “If you want to hunt, why don’t you do that elsewhere?”

“But the pigeons are here!” The kite replied.

Again, checking your attention.

However, I realized that, the larger the birds are, the more polite and gentle they be. The huge kite gave me an apologetic look, saying that this was his only way for a living. In addition, he had to have more pigeons than his neighbor, you know, for the status issues.

I agreed, “Alright, two pigeons for you and total peace for me, deal?”

That bird gave me a sharp eye, most probably meaning yes. The couple didn’t look at me anymore, for I’d gotten an ally – a more powerful one in their eyes.

But my heart – ah! Why does it fail me? It got between the prey and the predator, to let the prey escape into the sky. The kite attempted to bite me in frustration, but I yelled at it, “GET OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU UNGRATEFUL CREATURE!” It looked hurt, but I knew it was acting. Kites are shrewd creatures. You should never trust them. But don’t trust pigeons, either.

Actually, don’t trust any bird. They are not worthy of attention. They play adorable for survival, which brings the blame on us, for we stole their homes.

Alas! This means it is my duty to welcome the couple in my house. Such a plight! I’ve never cut a single tree in my life! This is so unfair!

However, it is as it is. You feel frustrated, and they are there to double it. That is the law of nature – when you are angry, there will be more to double your anger. And, in my case, there are tons. Three pigeons, and one kite.

 

-        Krisha Shastri